Saturday, October 1, 2011
Sleeping (not so) Beauty(ful)
Soo today I was suppose to take the SAT and be at the test center at 7:45am the SAT started at 8:00 want to know what time I woke up 7:59am yup I missed the SATs what the hell is wrong with me!! who sleeps through the SATs... 50 bucks wasted. It's been weird I've been sleeping in so much lately I set my alarm but I literally turn it off and go back to bed without even thinking pretty much every other morning. I've been looking like a hot mess to school for the past two weeks cause I barely give myself anytime to get ready. I think I'm getting depressed with my weight more then ever. I feel like I will never make my goal weight or even back down to my lowest weight. How could I have let myself gain 15lbs in 2 weeks I just feel helpless and weak. I'm such a failure. It wasn't even like it was just one major binge it was a constant consumption of junk for days and now I'm trapped under the pounds. I think I keep sleeping in cause I know I just don't even want to leave the house that day. Every time I look in the mirror I ask myself how have I let this get so bad. I tried to stay positive with the whole new beginning thing, but I still feel this pain inside telling me all I will ever be is FAT.
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i know how you feel! Sometimes i feel like i over sleep just to escape the things that i know i have to face that day. ive been having that same problem- i try to get up around 7 for a run, and end up waking up at 8 or 9 with barely enough time to get to school! I dont know if this would help or not but this is what i try to do: find the thing you crave and love the most. (for me its bread products) then, cut that out of your diet and dont go fucking near it! Set aside a day where you can eat that quilty pleasure. (i chose sunday) Eat it in moderation! Soon, you'll train your brain to think of this item as a special occasion thing, and you'll love and appreciate the flavor even more. For some people it doesnt work, but maybe you should give it a try? hope you'll feel better tomorrow (:
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