This constant up and down weight thing has got to go. I hate bouncing between 145-115lbs for nearly a year now. I get heavy (145) look at the scale go ohh shit and crash diet until i'm dead on the ground at 115lb having to be taken out of school for eating issues like being dehydrated and asking your teacher you really need to go to the nurse cause your gonna pass out is not fun. having no energy is not fun. having your lips always blue is not fun. The minute i realize this and want to be healthy again i can not maintain weight i gain gain gain and in a week I'm up 10lbs until finally I'm back where i started realizing that... eating junk and feeling sick is not fun. not going out on the weekends cause your too fat is not fun. having to buy fat jeans cause none of your clothes fit anymore is not fun.
Today I weigh in at 127. 2 weeks ago I was 115. up twelve pounds sucks. All I've been doing is binging the first day I broke my 2 week fast I dove into an entire pizza ate the entire thing. I spent the rest of the night puking (and not by force). My body can't handle these physical extremes anymore and either can I handle this mental frustration. It's so embarrassing coming into school now knowing that a few days ago I was 10lbs lighter I know everyone can see it too.
I NEED LOOSE and never gain again.
If I had kept to my plan I would have suppose to been at a lovely 105 by tomorrow.
sucks for me... now all I do is suck in.
I herd bitterness is good for drive lets hope this works.
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